Lesson 8
As we continue our effort of I observing the self, we are beginning to find that the self is a very complicated, complex and extensive organism. That it has been made from bits and pieces, that it is in a decided state of conflict. That it is at war, one side with the other, A with B, and that it has tremendous ability to hypnotize I. It is very cunning, it has been in charge of the house for a long time and it doesn’t want to lose it. It recognizes that it has to work in the dark and it makes every effort to keep I from observing it. So we will begin another practical effort of observing I, observing the self, John or Mary. First we will observe that thoughts are mechanical, that an association sets them off.
Our first sheet today will be headed: What does this remind “me” of? As one observes the self continually being set into motion by similar situations in the environment, something that comes along the self identifies it as “being the same as,” because it’s “somewhat similar.” One person is served a given food. Sometime or other in the past one had a similar food and it was tainted and one felt nauseated or was forced to eat it as a child. One says, “I can’t stand it, I don’t like it.” Now I observes this association, and as we keep track of “What does this remind “me” of,” one will see much that has been a limitation to the organism, that has been experienced as limitation. It is no longer a limitation when one sees that it is a simple association and that associations are saying “now” is “then.” Obviously one sees that the self equates “now and then” and has a tendency to report to X that what went on “then” is the same as what’s happening “now.” It never is.
Another one that I will observe the self-doing is that it continually replays records. In other words, it replays old events, and one can see it start by similar little associations that are set off; “This was like the time “I,” the self, was embarrassed.” “This reminds self of the time “I” was injured or hurt.” This is a powerful suggestion to get I, the observer, to identify with the self, replaying records. Let’s observe how often records are replayed. At the top of the page write, Replaying Records. Observe how many times in a week that the same incident is related, the same story told. The same set of thoughts leads down to where one is identified with the self and begins to feel sorry for self or to be angry or be resentful and one usually does not know how these states came about. As we are observing “What does this remind me of” we will see that telling a story will lead one into this unpleasant emotional state and that one will begin to feel and act as though now were then. This is a reminder for I to wake up and observe the self.
Now another thing that is very interesting to observe is beliefs. Beliefs are something that one has been conditioned with that one has not observed, checked out for validity through the years. They have been accepted because they were told by authorities, taught in school, read in a book and this all went into the self and makes up the personality. Beliefs act automatically. One might say one thinks by association, the self thinks by association and lives or acts upon what it reports to X as based upon beliefs. We’re usually unaware of the many beliefs that the basic decisions or the six means of self-improvement the self has accepted as being true. So suppose we begin to check out these beliefs. Here are some beliefs that self believes that may not be true. Check them all as you have time during the week.
“I” BELIEVE THAT “I” KNOW WHAT OUGHT TO BE. In other words the self knows what ought to be. It has known it all these years and everyone believes, without having checked it, that one knows what ought to be. We don’t like “what is” but we know that we would just be so happy if things were like they ought to be, and I know what ought to be, of course.
Along with this, of course, is a concurrent belief: “I” BELIEVE THAT “I” KNOW THE FUTURE. If things were like they ought to be now, I know what the outcome would be. But do you know the outcome of anything a week from now, two weeks from now, a year from now, or any other time? “I know what the outcome would be if things, people and situations were like I know they should be now.” So we all believe we know the future. Let’s check it out and see if we really do. If we do not know the future then we don’t know what ought to be now and we’ve gone a long way towards eliminating that basic idea of the world that there are ideals of “what ought to be.”
“I” BELIEVE THERE IS A LAW OF CAUSE AND EFFECT. We’ve heard this all our lives that some things are causes and some things are effects. Of course, “I” usually feel that “I” am an effect and that you and everybody else are cause. “I” believing that every effect has a cause and every cause has an effect. This, of course, is a subdivision of that great idea of self-improvement, “That if others that are to blame would change everything would be all right.” So cause really is another word for blame, isn’t it? We might say, “I believe that every effect has everything that is to blame, and that everything that is to blame has an effect and it’s usually on me.”
“I” BELIEVE “I” KNOW WHAT IS CAUSE AND WHAT IS EFFECT. We think we know what is to blame.
“I” BELIEVE “I” KNOW WHAT IS GOOD AND WHAT IS BAD. Don’t we and do we really, or is there such a thing as opposites; or are there only states of being, “what is?”
“I” BELIEVE “I” KNOW WHAT IS RIGHT AND WHAT IS WRONG. After all one is considered to be insane if one doesn’t know right from wrong. But do we? Do we only know what we have been taught was right according to the ideals of the world?
“I” BELIEVE THAT ALL OTHERS ALL KNOW WHAT IS GOOD AND WHAT IS BAD, WHAT IS RIGHT AND WHAT IS WRONG, BUT THEY BEING PERVERSE, OTHERS GO RIGHT ON AND DO WHAT IS BAD AND WHAT IS WRONG. This is the only way I can feel disappointed, that I can get angry, that I can have my feelings hurt. It’s because I know that others all know what is good and bad, what is right and wrong, but they, being real evil people, go on and do wrong anyway, most especially those of one’s family.
“I” BELIEVE “I” KNOW WHAT “I” NEED IN ORDER TO BE HAPPY. Of course, I believe I know what I need to be happy and I should be working for it. You see when a Not-I throws this at the I that is beginning to observe, it is awfully easy for it to catch it with suggestion and have it identify with that Not-I that is giving such a logical old-line set of reasoning.
“I” BELIEVE “I” KNOW WHAT IS TRUE AND WHAT IS FALSE IN THE FIELD OF LIVING THAT RELATES TO ME. We all think we know what is true and we have never really checked it out. We are going to look and see if we really know what we believe. If I believe something I haven’t checked it out. If I really check it out, I’m aware of it, but that awareness is only good for this moment because things are altogether different and situations are different in another moment.
“I” BELIEVE THAT “I” KNOW HOW TO GET WHAT “I” NEED TO BE HAPPY. “I know how to get it if there only weren’t so many people in the way interfering with it.” So the only thing I don’t know is “how to make all others see things like I do so that they will do what is right and good so I could then be happy.” This is what we don’t know and this is what most people who attempt to attend classes, who try to read books, who go to various kinds of mental helpers, are all trying to find out is “How can I make others do what I know they ought to do so I could be happy.” Of course, you put two people together with this same fundamental belief it is easy to see there’s going to be a fight. Not only is this between two people, it’s between A and B. A knows what ought to be in order to gain the four dual basic urges and B does. So there is conflict within. Then, of course, this is carried on beyond two people; it’s carried into two or more great ideologies, two great nations, religious groups, or what have you. Each knows that if they could just “make” everybody see what ought to be and what is really right and good, the world would be an utter utopia. But maybe that belief is entirely false.
“I” BELIEVE THAT “I” AM ONE AND THE SAME PERSON ALL THE TIME. As we’re begin- ning to observe self, we see that all manner of different personalities arise and run the household for a little while; they go to sleep and another one runs it. We’ve believed this all our lives and it’s constantly being suggested. So it is one that I observes and reports to X; that there are many running in here and they are all talking in the name of I. It takes considerable awareness, maybe several weeks or months on the part of I not to get identified with these very logical sounding Not-I’s that carry these beliefs.
“I” BELIEVE THAT “I” HAVE FREE WILL OR FREE AGENCY, BUT “I” ALSO BELIEVE WHAT YOU DO DETERMINES MY FEELINGS AND BEHAVIOR. Now there is a contradiction if we’ve ever seen one. I have free agency but I can’t exercise my free agency because of what you’re doing. “You are making me mad!” So we’re saying a contradiction and are unaware of it. To be aware of contra- dictions in the self is beginning to see the self. A says one thing, B says another. Ordinarily we only accept and take it for granted and we never notice the contradiction. Here is one of the great values of I observing the self as an “object,” it begins to see the contradictions. It begins to see A’s argument and it sees B’s argument which are definitely in contradiction, but they have only been up one at a time, or one thought it as though trying to arrive at a decision and one felt one was one trying to make a decision. But as one observes one sees first one and then another of a false personality takes over and attempting to get I to identify with it.
“I” BELIEVE THAT “I” AM AWAKE AND FULLY CONSCIOUS OF ALL MY MOTIVES AND MY BEHAVIOR. But as we are beginning to observe we see that we have been asleep and that various Not-I’s, bits of conditioning, operated due to an association setting off a series of events.
“I” BELIEVE THAT MY ABILITY TO REASON IS INFALLABLE. How often does anyone ever question the reasoning ability of the self? Obviously as I observe self reasoning one sees the many contra- dictions, many of the fallacies, and one is in a different state of being. At least while one is observing this, is utterly amused by it, is in a state of vital interest to see that such can be going on. And that one has taken it for granted all these years because one was in a hypnotic sleep from suggestion from the world and the senses.
“I” BELIEVE THAT THE DATA “I” ACCEPT TO REASON FROM IS INFALLIBLE. We always accept the data as being infallible and that our reasoning ability is infallible. But how often have we really checked the data, or is it only a suggestion? This is something that I observes and withholds any judgment on, doesn’t condemn or justify, it is only aware of the three-ring circus that is going on in the self. It is very vitally interesting.
“I” BELIEVE THAT IF A STATEMENT IS LOGICAL THAT IT MUST BE TRUE. We are very easily caught by a logical statement from anywhere, from within or from without. I must observe logic.
“I” BELIEVE THAT ALL STORIES, PARABLES AND ALLEGORIES THAT ARE BASED ON HISTORICAL FACTS ARE LITERAL HISTORY. You read a story that gives an inner content if I would but see it. But if I take it as history I never see the inner meaning. I never accept it as a parable that is really talking about, possibly, this nation called the “self” with all of its many different ideologies, with all of its different personalities, with its wars etc. What better way of describing that self than to relate it to an actual historical event. What we’re really trying to get across is the inner meaning of the story as it relates; it is a form of a parable of the self.
“I” BELIEVE THAT IN MY PRESENT STATE “I” CAN UNDERSTAND ANY BOOK PRINTED IN THE LANGUAGE “I” SPEAK, WRITE AND READ. We can read a book printed in the English language, (the speaker is speaking some version of it now although some people have questioned that and say it is “southern lingo”). Whatever it may be we generally accept it as a form of English and feel we can understand any book we read. So we whip through it and say “I’ve read that book, I know about that.” Possibly we only read some words and never saw the inner meaning, the relationships, how it is related to a story of self.
“I” BELIEVE THAT BECAUSE “I” HAVE COMMITTED TO MEMORY CERTAIN PHRASES AND WORDS FROM BOOKS THAT “I” THEREBY KNOW THE WHOLE MEANING OF THESE WORDS AND PHRASES. Certain people quote various little phrases or long phrases from a certain book or books and thereby feel they know all the meaning of it. But if you question a bit, you’ll find they don’t. We’re going to question the self and we’re going to discover certain things about these beliefs. We’re going to know where the self uses these words in order to trap, by suggestion, the self into identifying with the Not-I, or whether it is just rattling off mechanically. I is going to try to see and have the aim of seeing all these little stories and quotations as having an inner meaning. Without having that inner meaning as it relates to the self, one may as well not know the words.
“I” BELIEVE “I” UNDERSTAND WHAT OTHERS MEAN BY THEIR WORDS. Of course, we sometimes get very angry because we knew that what they meant was to insult me or to aggravate me or to put me down; and maybe that wasn’t the meaning at all, they had other meanings. So we never know what another person means by their words until we question them a bit. So I will not condemn or justify. It can only report, “These words were said and will find out the meaning later,” and one can continue to slowly discover meaning. Of course, this is a second education for I; the first time I was educated was by condi- tioning. Now I is gaining an education; we’re talking about the observing I. It is gaining and education by observing self, John or Mary. Most of what it is discovering is what is not true. Many, many years ago a great man said to the speaker, “Don’t ever look for the truth, look for illusions. When you have seen an illusion for what it is you have then seen the truth of the matter.” Now all of these beliefs are things that one has accepted as truth. Let’s look and see if they’re illusions. If we should see one of them as an illusion we have seen the truth of the matter, and that is really a discovery. It is a change in the inner state. It is to be in an entirely different state of consciousness for the time being. It is to be in a different state of being. Let’s observe all these many beliefs and many or your own private ones. Of course, the ones being considered here are some very common ones that most people have; but most of us also have our own little private stock of conditioning.
“I” BELIEVE THAT “I” KNOW CERTAIN OTHER PEOPLE. In other words the self has come to a conclusion about a person; it believes they know them, but a person is ever changing. What they did at the moment that the conclusion was made may be entirely false at this moment. It is wonderful to be knowing a person moment by moment. It is seemingly a conditioned state of affairs to believe that one knows a person, knows what they will do, how they will behave, because even if they are in the walking sleep they still continue to be subject to various and sundry suggestions and will be changed.
“I” BELIEVE THAT “MY” OPINIONS ARE CORRECT AND THAT IF YOU DON’T AGREE WITH THEM, THAT YOU ARE EITHER POORLY INFORMED OR SIMPLY STUPID. Because, after all, I do know the truth.
“I” BELIEVE THAT IF “I” BELIEVE AND DO AS “I” AM TOLD BY THOSE “I” ACCEPT AS AUTHORITIES THAT “I” AM IN A SAFE, SECURE AND TRUE POSITION. How often we accept because someone said so or someone wrote it and we have never check it out to see if it is only mammon, the four dual basic urges that is intent upon believing and doing as one is told by the authorities so that one can gain the ideal of the world to be non-disturbed.
“I” BELIEVE THAT TO BE OBEDIENT REFERS TO BEING OBEDIENT TO AN INSTITU- TION INSTEAD OF BEING OBEDIENT TO THE NATURE OF MAN AS THE AWARENESS FUNC- TION OF X.
“I” BELIEVE THAT JUST STRUGGLE ON IN MY PRESENT STATE THAT EVERYTHING WILL WORKOUT AS “I” WANT IT TO. In other words I will struggle on towards improving the self to fit some ideal that has been told, and then to another ideal. Of course, there’s party A that has an ideal as to what one should improve to and there is a party B that one should improve to so there is conflict even in the ideas of improvement; so we want to check these.
“I” BELIEVE THAT “I” AM CAPABLE OF JUDGING OTHERS AND “I” BELIEVE MY JUDG- MENT OF THEM IS FAIR AND ACCURATE. The Great Teacher of the Teaching said, “Judge not.” But, of course, we repeat his words and the self goes on judging. So I wants to observe the self judging and see the self feel its ability to judge others is fair, accurate and that it is true.
“I” BELIEVE THAT DUE TO MY ABILITY TO JUDGE OTHERS, THAT “I” AM SUPERIOR TO OTHERS. The self feels that because it’s capable of judging Charley that it is superior to Charley, is it not? How could we judge it otherwise?
“I” BELIEVE THAT BECAUSE “I” IDENTIFY SELF AS A MEMBER OF A CERTAIN RACE OR NATIONALITY OR IDEOLOGY THAT “I” AM IN SOME WAY SUPERIOR TO THOSE IDENTI- FIED AS MEMBERS OF OTHER RACES OR NATIONALITIES OR IDEOLOGIES. This is a very pow- erful belief; check it out. I is not a thing, really; it is the awareness function of X. But the conditioned “I” feels that it is superior. One of the ideas of the world, of course, is to improve so that one is superior to others and can control them. Of course, we feel that we have controlled them mentally when we have judged them as being no good, inferior, stupid, or what have you.
“I” BELIEVE THAT DUE TO BEING SUPERIOR TO OTHERS “I” HAVE BEEN DISCRIMI- NATED AGAINST AND MISTREATED BY ALL THOSE ENVIOUS OF MY SUPERIORITY. If you will observe the self, it continually feels it is being put upon. So I will observe the self feeling that because it is superior that it has been mistreated.
Now we can continue to work on these and many other beliefs. So I is going to observe what self believes. So our sheet will be headed, The Self Believes, and I will observe to see what self believes. Write it down. One may be seeing illusions and thereby seeing the truth of the matter.
Copyright © 1973 by Rhondell. All rights reserved. This material is for an individual student’s personal use; it is not to be duplicated or loaned to another.
